Just because he’s on the newspaper staff
Otis, that silly hound, thinks he’s so special.
Well I have NEWS for him.
No dog can snuggle and cuddle the way I can,
Or chase squirrels, that’s my talent.
It keeps me down to a svelte 49 pounds.
But squirrels are nothing,
Vanquished before breakfast.
I really star at fending off dinosaurs.
I forget I’m a lady when the job calls for
Unlike that Dunce, Otis,
I come from a pure source, a famous , saintly Maggie,
Perhaps a bit shopworn but angelic, nonetheless,
At least to my mind.
My bark is symphonic, ripe for Carnegie Hall.
My gait is balletic, unique stylish pirouettes.
Not merely a dog
I’m as smart as Border Collies get.
Every passerby greets me with a smile
And a ruffling of my coat.
I’m irresistible they say,
The one and only
The Cudahy Canine Cutie.